In my years as a leadership coach, I have observed a recurring challenge among many talented women striving to build influence: the tendency to conform to outdated, often masculine leadership models. This pursuit of fitting into an archetype of a “strong leader” – typically associated with traits like assertiveness, dominance, and independence – frequently causes women to lose sight of their authentic leadership strengths.
This pressure isn’t self-imposed in isolation; it’s deeply rooted in societal expectations. Research confirms that women leaders are often caught in a double bind: perceived as either “too tough” or “too soft” but rarely “just right” for leadership roles. This leaves many feeling as though their natural leadership style is insufficient or even incompatible with success in the workplace.
However, far from being a limitation, embracing one’s authentic leadership style—whether it’s collaborative, empathetic, or transformational—can be a significant asset. Studies show that leaders who blend both traditionally “masculine” and “feminine” traits, such as assertiveness and empathy, are more effective in today’s dynamic, diverse workplaces.
The Impact of the “Masculine” Leadership Trap
Women in leadership still face systemic barriers that perpetuate masculine norms in positions of power. Despite progress, only 12% of executive leadership roles in the UK are held by women. This figure reflects not just a lack of representation but also a cultural bias toward male-dominated leadership styles.
The traditional “heroic” leadership model, which emphasises command-and-control approaches, often sidelines women who may excel in more collaborative and inclusive leadership roles. Women leaders are frequently subjected to greater scrutiny and held to higher standards than their male counterparts, with research showing they often face harsher judgments if they deviate from these entrenched norms.
This conformity pressure also affects job satisfaction and engagement. Leaders who lack a sense of purpose or feel compelled to lead inauthentically are nine times less likely to be engaged in their roles.
3 Steps to Build Influence by Embracing Your Authentic Leadership
The path to authentic, impactful leadership starts with shedding these externally imposed expectations. Here are three actionable steps women can take to develop their leadership skills while remaining true to themselves:
1. Reframe Your Definition of Leadership
Many leadership models are outdated and fail to reflect the complexities of the modern workforce. Instead of trying to “fit in,” redefine what leadership means to you.
- Action Tip: Reflect on the leaders you admire most. What traits make them effective? Are they assertive, empathetic, or visionary? Chances are, they excel by blending different qualities. Identify the traits you naturally embody and focus on enhancing them.
- Why It Works: Research shows that leaders who demonstrate vulnerability and authenticity are 5.3 times more likely to be trusted by their teams. Trust is a cornerstone of influence.
2. Leverage Transformational Leadership
Instead of adopting a transactional, task-focused leadership style, consider a transformational approach. This means inspiring, empowering, and supporting your team to achieve their fullest potential.
- Action Tip: Cultivate relationships with your team by offering individualized feedback, recognising their strengths, and encouraging professional growth.
- Why It Works: Women naturally excel in transformational leadership, which fosters collaboration, innovation, and employee satisfaction. This style aligns with the needs of a diverse, modern workforce and is linked to higher team performance.
3. Embrace Mentorship and Sponsorship
One of the most significant barriers to female leadership advancement is the lack of mentorship and sponsorship. Building influence often requires having advocates who can vouch for your capabilities and open doors to new opportunities.
- Action Tip: Actively seek out both mentors (for guidance and development) and sponsors (who can advocate for your promotion or inclusion in high-visibility projects).
- Why It Works: Studies show that companies with mentorship programs and clear paths for career development see higher retention and promotion rates for women. Moreover, sponsorship can accelerate career advancement by ensuring that your contributions are visible to decision-makers.
Final Thoughts: Your Unique Leadership Style is Your Superpower
The journey to influence and leadership isn’t about mimicking what has worked for others, especially in a system designed with a narrow view of success. It’s about finding your voice, leveraging your strengths, and redefining leadership on your terms. Organisations are slowly beginning to recognise the value of diverse leadership styles, and women who embrace their authenticity will be at the forefront of this change.
As a leadership coach, I’ve seen firsthand the transformation that occurs when women let go of external expectations and lead from a place of authenticity. They not only build more trust and engagement with their teams but also find greater fulfilment and purpose in their roles.
So, to all aspiring women leaders: Your influence is not determined by how well you fit into traditional moulds, but by how boldly you stand in your unique leadership identity.
